Thursday, March 27, 2014

May the 4th, Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Once upon a time there lived an old man.  This old man would easily be described as a patriarch really and at the time this particular story begins he had many sons, a daughter and very many grandchildren too.  His sons and daughter were all living out of the home they grew up in, the home where the old man still lived. 

During holiday get togethers, where all the sons and the daughter gathered in the home of their childhood, the old man was happy to have all of his children and his children’s children under the same roof.  Nothing warms a patriarch’s heart more than to have all of his descendants gathered together to share meals, tell stories and embrace each other as the times where this occurred were far too rare indeed and not taken for granted.  This story is about my Grandpa Prewitt.  His name was Euel Lavelle Prewitt.  Or maybe it’s about me.  I don’t know…I feel compelled to share it because I feel it is about more than the Prewitt family

Well our family is not perfect.  To a one each of us have faults and imperfections. We are unique individuals bound together by blood. Our uniqueness lends to different perspectives in same scenarios and sometimes family arguments. Sometimes heated.  Is your family like this?  I expect so. A family that loves deep does so with passion and sometimes passion has a flipped side of the coin. Thank God though that we don't have to be perfect. What pressure that would be to wake up everyday and hope not to screw up that precedented perfection. So sometimes these family get-togethers ended up being pressure cookers for conflict.  And beautiful gatherings sometimes ended with anger.   But in a loving family anger toward a family member is very heavy so there was always yearning for it all to be OK too and a desire to forgive. God created us this way.

But for the Patriarch there was only ever one feeling not mixed feelings.  He had never held anger toward his descendants.  He did not hold a grudge. He only ever wanted them all to come back again and do it all over again the next available holiday.  He encouraged his children and his children's children in the same direction.  He did not want judgment or repercussions or consequences.  He only wanted them to love each other as they loved him. I am not making this up. 

My Grandpa Prewitt passed away 7 years ago this June.  It was June 16, 2007.  And even though time passes, when I think of him I still wish I had more time with him.  He was a gentle loving grandfather.  He had so many stories.  I never cared as much about the stories as the songs he made up and sang to us all the time.  He was silly and had a great deep laugh that was contagious.  A great smile too.  I wish now I had listened to the stories and asked for more of those.

At the time of his death I had not been a church goer.  I had a church splitting experience when I was still a teenager and religious doubt took a deep seat in my heart for an extended period of time.  Amazingly enough, it was his death, his funeral and his life that brought me to an about face.  It was another time that all of his descendants were gathered under one roof.  And while his death was not a joyous cause for celebration, a look over his life gave a lot to smile about.

The way my Grandfather was celebrated, the stories of how he lived and how much he loved God and the way my aunt’s church supported the family it quickly became apparent that there was something I had been missing out on. Specifically at the viewing in the funeral home, before they generally opened the doors and it was just family in the room, I felt really overcome as if love just washed over me. I felt filled with love; I felt it pelting my all over my back and over my head as I stood by my grandfather in his casket with all of my family behind me. I felt it radiate up my arm as I reached for my grandmother.  The words, “God is Love” from  scripture 1 John 4:16 (and others) filled my head.  I realized that I had doubt about trusting something I could not prove, but that even though  I couldn’t see love I had no doubt that it was real.  None at all. I got to be a small part of a big family where love was real, big and so great it was almost tangible. I realized how blessed I was.

Of course as part of my being a baby Christian recalling this story brings me back to the foundations of my faith. A Patriarch who loves to have his family gathered to share. Share life, love and joy but also to comfort each other in pain and greif.  A Patriarch who does not count transgressions, but instead is set, even at personal risk, in favor of forgiveness and unification of his family. His love for us was never in question.

I had a dream after Grandpa died that me and my sisters were in a huge house trying to decide how to choose which bedroom would be best for which sister.  We were really excited and talking about the best features of each room and assessing assignments.  We realized that Grandpa was in one of the rooms with us. He was smiling and when we saw him there he reached his arms out to us and we ran into his embrace. He said, "Why are you spending so much time and energy on THIS?  Don't you know your kingdom is in heaven?"

Like Whoa!! I know not everyone believes that there is any significance in dreams, but all who know me know that mine stay with me.  When I get caught up in pettiness or things of this world with all of its stuff, it is that truth that grounds me. I am not in pursuit of earthly treasures that only serve myself. Or I don't want to be anyway.

It is because of my Grandfather that I totally get it God.  I know how you love me and that love is what you want from me, for you and for my brothers and sisters. A love like that is to be treasured and sought after and modeled.  It is the best thing to strive for.  We lifers here on earth all get caught up in seeking things that are fleeting. Not fleeting is the great feeling you get from serving others and loving others and forgiving others or smiling at everyone! I can't go back now and hear and pay attention to more of my Grandfathers stories but I can get into your word and know this loving father better.  

This photo taken nearly three years after Grandfather passed away.  All of us together again. Memorial Day 2010
Me and Grandpa taken at his and Grandma's 50th Wedding Anniversary celebration.


Grandpa and Grandma with their sons and daughter.


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